Rambling... Venting...

The one universal truth that stands out among all others - we all want and need to be accepted. And liked as well. And we just end up doing things that make us acceptable or likeable to people, forgetting who we are inside, what we are, and staying true to that person. It should not matter to others how I am, or what I am, or what I think or do or say unless I am hurting them in any way. In the same way, the other person's opinion or thoughts should not matter to me. Unless they are hurting me. I find more and more that people are cruel. And I am guilty of that too. People are cruel to others around them, they are cruel to people who they consider their enemies, and crueler to people they consider their friends. The worst is the way people play on insecurities to get what they want. Why do we always want and need more than people are willing to offer us?  We all do this - this playing power games... more and more as we grow older, our relationships seem to be determined by these power games that we are willing to play at every stage to try to get something that we want. It makes me sick. And people continue doing it. I continue doing it too. This is not how our lives should be. Defined by these stupid meaningless boundaries of what is acceptable to people, and how to mould people to think that way or get people to think your way. I want to be above this. I want to be freed from these inane acceptabilities. I am happy being me. And I don't need others who don't know me at all to try to define what, who or how I should be. And that's the bottom line.

Home

I miss home awfully sometimes. In the night, when it's dark out and my playlist plays "Main Gaoon Tum So Jao", or "Dhire Se Aaja", or "Aankhon Mein Kya Jee", all I can do is think of home. And it breaks my heart that I am not there, with them. I need them in my life. At all points. I love them so much.

I can't write more on this. I really can't or I'll just break down more. All I can say is "Tere bina zindagi se koi shikwa toh nahin... tere bina zindagi bhi lekin zindagi toh nahin...".