It's almost over...

The more I am here, the more I don't want to leave. I just don't. I remember how I wrote here only about how I was scared of coming here - and now I am scared of leaving. I just realised that I might never see these people - my friends - again in my life. It's very very hard to deal with something like that.

I lost all my data today and recovered it. The relief was really something. But then a stray comment made me realise - why was I so keen to recover it? It's almost over. Every day I hear the same thing - it's almost over. And to me, that's not a relief. That makes me afraid and pained and unhappy and depressed - that it's almost over. I won't see the sun rise over the valley any more. I won't have meals with friends any more - no more hanging out, no more sitting and talking and laughing and making crazy plans. There's no time for crazy plans any more.

I've said it before and I will say it again. I will miss this place. I will miss these people. I will miss some of the best friends I have ever made in my life. I can't write any more.

Tanha Dil Tanha Safar...

Organisational Behaviour talks of the Need for Affiliation, the Need for Belongingness, to feel close to people, part of a group, a family, a clan, a larger society, a country, the world itself. Everytime we also define ourselves as part of this group or clan or whatever. And yet, despite the number of people we so-called belong to, we are all essentially alone. Maybe not lonely - just alone. It doesn't matter who is on the journey with us - they will get off at some station at some point of time. Someone else might even get on when they get off. But you know - that at the end station, the last one - it's going to be only you. No one else. Just you.